Failed Synchronization
by Snow757
Summary: A collection of weird oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

I thought of making a fic about the weird and somewhat hilarious things we face while playing AC. The first two oneshots are rewritten, but new things will show up with time.

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**Failed Synchronization **

Greed & Gold

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_The inner conflict of a tempted guard._

* * *

And there it lies...

A golden, promising, glittering...

_...Temptation._

I just wanted to fly there and take them, spend the hundred coins that were scattered all over the floor in front of me on everything my heart desired. The sight of passer byers who were taking the said coins like their life depended on it didn't help containing myself either.

_Damn it all..._

You see, it all started on a typical normal day in the beautiful Venice where the sky was blue and the rivers were clear.

That is, until it was my turn to guard the central bank's entrance since the other guards were so busy getting a drink. They're probably passed out on a random ally by now. _Lazy idiots..._

Anyway, as I started to drown in my boredom and waited for the next useless fool to take my place, I noticed people gathering to take something I couldn't see from where I was standing. But when a man in front of me fell, I finally saw what the madness was about.

I couldn't help but to gasp.

_A hundred golden coins lying on the floor._

I just stood there, conflicting my self as the people around me exclaimed:

"_MONEY!_"

_"MONITA!"_

"_IT'S MY LUCKY DAY_!"

"_NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT_!"

You're just keeping to push the line here, people!

Couldn't they see a faithful guard doing his everyday duty, fighting every fiber in his being just so he wouldn't jump and take the coins all to himself?

"_GOLD, GOLD!"_

That's it! I'm taking the blasted coins!

* * *

So our friend ran towards the crowd like the greedy man he turned out to be, shouting, "IT IS _MINE!_"

He didn't notice the smirking hooded man walking calmly towards the bank, passing the gathered fools and flipping a coin, muttering, "Always work like a charm."

Greedy men's weakness is the colour gold after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again...

* * *

**Failed Synchronization **

A Different Kind of Begging

* * *

_When the begging is not for the money._

* * *

Altaïr didn't know what to do with this woman, he couldn't kill her because he currently needs to be in low profile. And besides, she was just an innocent person and not a Templar, no matter how crazy she was.

_"Could you spare a few nice words please?"_

Did she stalk him or something? He was sure that she was the same woman that kept bothering him for the past week. The short, old, black teethed, buggy eyed woman who almost revealed him to his targets numerous of times.

It started when he saved her from some guards a week ago. She looked at him with sparkly eyes and thanked him. He tried his best not cringe in front of her; because the sight of a woman whose age rivaled his great-great-grandmother, blushing like a young maiden while saying _"My hero~!" _was not his cup of tea.

He then noticed that ran into her everyday, shouting like an idiot and putting the attention on him while at it, with each day passing she said something new.

At first she said:

_"Can you spare a look at the poor woman in front of you?"_

Then...

_"Look at me, hear my heart beating, for who? You already know the answer."_

And to his dismay...

_"Do you have some coins sir or anything else for the matter? Perhaps a love letter?"_

And then_..._

_"I want a tall, strong man who covers himself with a hood. Do you know where I can get someone like that?"_

This is when he became afraid...

_"Acra has never been good to me, and if the city thinks that sending you makes up for it, it sure does!"_

And finally...

_"You are the assassin of my heart, as well as lives, and I think I like it."_

But today, she really toned it down. Not that he minded it much since he a had target, so the quietness is very appreciated.

He was proven wrong though; the woman hadn't pulled the last of her arsenal.

"Look at me sir! I'm poor and sick and hungry! I'M POOR BECAUSE I FELL FOR SOMEONE WHO KEEPS IGNORING ME! SICK OF THIS CHASE BETWEEN YOU AND ME! AND HUNGRY FOR YOU!"

_Oh dear God..._

The racket got the attention of one of the guards around his target, and he came closer asking, "What's with the noise here...?" He tensed up noticeably though when he saw him.

_One..._

_Two..._

_Three..._

"Assassin!"

_It sucks to be me._

Altaïr glared at the woman murderously, and then he started sprinting.

He remebered something that Malik told him before the incident that took the man's arm off...

_"When the begging women beg for your money, it's highly annoying._

_But when the begging women beg for your love..._

_It's hell."_

He couldn't agree more.


	3. Chapter 3

In Brotherhood.

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**Failed Synchronization**

Paranormal Activities

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_Being an assassin isn't easy, you have to hide the body properly first._

* * *

Ezio was having a normal day so far, the target of this day was relatively easy to track.

Sneaking behind one guard standing in front of a haystack carriage, Ezio went in for the kill and quickly pulled the guard backwards.

He got out as quickly as he could, looking around to see if there was anyone who saw him, and without meaning to, he looked behind and grew confused.

_What in the world?_

He was sure that he hid the guard's dead body well, but then why could he see his arms and legs sticking out of the carriage like a scarecrow?

Before Ezio stepped forward to go and fix the body's pose, it began twisting and turning and... dancing.

_Demonic possession_, Ezio concluded, looking thoroughly terrified.

Wisely choosing to run the hell away from there, Ezio decided to bring some holy water with him in his next assassinations.


End file.
